Microcosm/Macrocosm

I think a lot of relationships happen more in the mind than in reality.

The illusion of who we think we're in a relationship with is more alluring and attractive than the reality of that person for a lot of people. NRE is all about illusion, after all. It's that veil of energy that is drawn over our eyes, blinding us to the little imperfections and flaws, the magnetic pull that brings two people together. Without it, we'd never get past the little nit picks and peeves -- our species would have already died out.

For a relationship to survive past the NRE stage, the participants in that relationship must be willing to put aside their perception of their partner's flaws. The flaws are still there, just as they were from the beginning, but now, without NRE to cloud perception, the flaws become visible, noticeable. The trick seems to be to put aside one's annoyance and dislike of those flaws in order to continue to appreciate and enjoy the good parts of one's partner.

After NRE, each individual has to look at the relationship as a whole, the other person, and at themselves, and decide if the positive outweighs the negative. Or, are the flaws in the other person a relationship deal breaker?

I'm not saying that all relationships fall apart because the NRE veil is no longer there... just that for some people, it seems likely that without the NRE shiney making things sparkle and shine the other person is just too flawed.

I think, and this is just me spitballing here, that if you want to learn to love after NRE, you should learn to love yourself. If you can accept yourself as a flawed human deserving of love, respect and happiness, then you can accept other people as the same.

Microcosm/Macrocosm. Just a thought...